Fighting for Unity
When I served on my church’s elder team, one of our best practices was simple: we always tried to communicate in terms of what we were for, not what we were against.
I’ve tried to carry that same posture into my leadership development work and into life in general. Like anyone, I’m probably a little less guarded when I’m talking with my closest family and friends. But the principle still guides me. When people feel defensive, it’s natural to assume that if someone is for a different way, they must be against our way. I want to resist that instinct.
Dark Horses, let’s do our best to focus on what we’re running toward, not just what we’ve left behind. Let’s talk about what we’re for, not simply what we’re against.
Years ago, when I accepted a leadership role at what was then the largest institutional church in Alaska, I sensed a quiet distrust from leaders of other churches around the state. I didn’t know the specific sources of that distrust, but I also wasn’t surprised.
Still, it saddened me.
So I began looking for opportunities to get to know pastors from across Anchorage and beyond. I started attending a networking group called Churches of Anchorage. In those early meetings, I could feel some of that lingering suspicion in the room.
Eventually, I volunteered to co-chair a citywide service and evangelism initiative alongside the chairman of Churches of Anchorage. We became good friends. Over several lunches together, we talked honestly about the division I had been sensing. He was very aware and could fill me in on some of the back-story. As we talked, I began to understand more clearly where some of that pain had come from.
A dear friend once told me, “This may not be your fault, but it’s now your responsibility.”
So I doubled down on building relationships with as many pastors as I could.
At our first large planning meeting for the citywide service project, there were more than 120 pastors gathered in the room. I asked them a simple question:
“Does anyone know how many churches there are in Anchorage, Alaska?”
Immediately, conversations broke out around the tables as people shared guesses. While they were talking, I quietly held up one finger and waited until the room settled.
“One,” I said.
“Jesus only has one church. And He requires that we are one, just as He and the Father are one. For my part, I apologize for any wrongs you may have experienced from my church leadership. I’ll do what I can to make those things right. But let’s commit today to rebuilding our unity.”
At every meeting after that, I asked the same question.
“How many churches are there in Anchorage, Alaska?”
At first the answers were hesitant. But after a few months, the room would erupt in unison:
“ONE!”
That’s still my dream today – that institutional and organic expressions of the church would contend for unity despite our differences. We don’t have to agree on everything. But we must fight for unity.
I’m grateful for the friends—and especially my wife—who keep reminding me to hold that vision in front of me and see what Jesus might choose to do with it.
OK, you’re turn. Engage with us. Here are some questions. We’d love for you to share your thoughts!
- Why do you think it’s so easy for people to assume that if someone is for a different approach, they must be against theirs? How have you seen this dynamic play out in churches or Christian communities?
2. Do you sometimes struggle to focus on what you’re running toward rather than what your’re running from? What might that look like in practical terms for someone who has left or feels frustrated with the institutional church?
3. Have you ever been told, “This may not be your fault, but it’s now your responsibility?” When have you experienced a situation where you chose to take responsibility for healing something you didn’t create?
4. Jesus prayed that His followers would be one (John 17). What do you think real unity among Christians could look like today, even when there are deep disagreements about structure, theology, or politics?